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“For some, LAT is a way to play to the strengths of the relationship without succumbing to its weaknesses,” says Finkel.
“It makes time together special, rather than mundane and habitual.”For Annie Fox and her husband, Nash, having two Brooklyn apartments a few blocks away from each other was in part a pragmatic decision made when they were dating.
I would not have been able to have the father that my children adore in their life this way if we had lived together, because I would have killed him,” she says, laughing.
Surprisingly, the most consistent issue couples face is judgment.
This arrangement, she explained, gives her space to pursue her work and hobbies, and helps them better understand what's actually going on with each other.
“We enjoy this idea that there is a space we each have to ourselves that nobody else is going to enter for a period of time,” says Fox of her marriage.
Research in Europe and Canada suggests that LAT is common among younger people, for reasons that range from wanting more autonomy to just liking their own place and choosing to keep it.“Even if Nash doesn't sleep at my house every day, we'll still meet for a drink on the way home or grab a coffee,” she says.